This Mortal Coil
by lefcadio
Summary: Slight Light x L. In which Light and L discuss death, and each comes to a realisation. Spoilers for 57.


It was always so easy to get L alone.

Even now, with Rem's presence hanging over the NPA's headquarters like a morbid shadow, and with the Death Note which was never far from _any_ of their thoughts lying in the next room... he still came.

"Ryuuzaki... do you ever think about death?

It couldn't have been trust; Light knew full well what L thought of him. But if not trust, then, what? Resignation? A possibility. The thought amused him, but he made sure to keep that curious, concerned expression sincere; keep that undercurrent of worry in his voice.

It was much more fun to play out this game to the fullest until the very end.

Those dark eyes rose to meet his, faintly surprised, "of course, Light-kun; I have told you as much before."

Well, he supposed that was true. But...

"That's not what I mean." Light leaned forward a little in his chair, the low coffee table empty between them. He feigned a contemplative pause, biting his lower lip and turning to gaze out of the window. The sunlight was fading fast, and he could feel L watching him silently. "I mean... _after_ death."

It was mostly idle curiosity, he had to admit. What _did_ L believe? Because whatever it was, Light thought, leaning back in his chair, a strange jolt of anticipatory pleasure spiking in his stomach, L would have the privilege of finding out whether he was right soon enough.

"That's a rather philosophical question for you to ask, Light-kun."

"What, you don't think it's normal for me to wonder? Ryuuzaki..." He sat back up, tapping one finger on the table, and sighed. "As you yourself have said before, any of us could end up dead at any time because of Kira! It's... made me think about it a lot myself. You don't have to talk about it, I just--"

"Nothing," L commented simply, peering over his knees at Light, visible face half-hidden by those spikes of dark hair.

_Nothing_... as he had suspected. Light forced a small laugh and nodded. Well, that wasn't too interesting. "Logical as ever, Ryuuzaki." He watched as L stood up and made his way to the sideboard beneath the window, shoulders hunched and feet still bare. Always the same.

"Would you like some tea, Light-kun?" The question came quiet and polite, as though they'd just been discussing the weather or something equally as inane.

"...please." Light frowned, wondering at L's reluctance. It would all be so much more satisfying if he _knew_ what might be going through L's mind when it finally happened...

"Are you scared?" The words cut the air like a knife, and he saw L freeze for a moment before resuming his task. The sound of clinking china made the silence acutely obvious, and Light smirked. Perfect.

L turned, teacups in hand, and he gave Light a lopsided smile as the rays of the setting sun filtered through behind him, illuminating the edges of his hair like a bloody halo. He leaned down and slid Light's teacup onto the table, before returning to his own side; that striking contrast of pale skin and dark hair once again.

"Of course," and almost immediately the rim of the cup was at his lips, and his bare toes were curling around the front edge of the sofa. "I am... only human, Light-kun, whatever you may think of me." His ringed eyes looked -- reproachful? Or just faintly sad? Light couldn't quite tell, but didn't particularly care.

He resisted the urge to grin (_Oh, I know too well that you're only human, L_), and instead retrieved his own tea. As he took a sip, it troubled him slightly that L knew exactly how he liked it without even having to ask.

"I--" he made sure to stumble over his words, and cast his eyes down, as though ashamed, "well, I - that's not what I was trying to imply - I hope you know I think of you as my friend, Ryuuzaki..." He trailed off and set down his tea, watching L's reaction carefully.

And there it was: a brief flash of something, quickly masked, and then a small, careful smile.

Yes. _That_ was why L always agreed to talk with him, even while believing he was Kira; even while now knowing he had the ability to kill with a piece of paper.

"...I do, thank you." L reached down and stole one of the spare sugar cubes from his saucer; Light couldn't help but notice that there was still a faint, pink mark circling his wrist. Then L looked up at him, sucking on the lump of sugar, eyes wide and thoughtful.

Suddenly he simply irritated Light, and this whole exchange seemed foolish.

"Why shouldn't I be afraid? I've nearly died, so many times..." he paused, focusing intently on Light, smile slipping away, "as far as I know, I could be scheduled to die in the next five minutes."

He said it calmly, but Light could see him tense; no chain connected them now, but it was clear that L's belief in him being Kira still remained.

"...you're still thinking that, Ryuuzaki?" What... what can I possibly do to convince you otherwise?" Only the pain in his voice was an act; the frustration was real enough.

Not that it really mattered, now.

The last few rays of the sun were rapidly disappearing, and the room slipped into darkness; neither of them made a move for the light.

"You're wondering why I meet with you, aren't you." His tone sounded flat, and Light was a little taken aback. He nodded, mildly curious to hear how L would try and justify it. "If you are Kira, you would not try and kill me while we are together. It's established you do not know my name, so really, I'm at no more risk than I was before... don't you think?" He brought his thumb up thoughtfully to his mouth, and Light found his gaze fixed on that bitten nail, pressed against L's lips.

"Is that it?" He made sure to let his shoulders drop slightly; disappointed. "You're still just trying to analyse me as Kira?"

L shook his head, and his expression softened in the shadows, just a little. "I enjoy talking to you, Light-kun... even if you are being particularly morbid today."

Light responded as desired, with a quiet smile and a nod of the head. "Don't you think it's important to talk about these things? I... I don't know what I'd do if I died tomorrow. This might be my last day on Earth, and what would I be thinking, as I..." He leaned in over the table, watching L's reaction. Was this increasing his fear, his anxiety?

What _would_ L be thinking as his heart stopped, as he slipped from this mortal coil, into the nothingness he believed awaited him?

"Ryuuzaki..."

And there they were; still alone, sitting facing each other across the darkness, delicate china cups empty and cast to one side.

"As I die..." L let his feet fall to the floor and leaned in as well - and Light saw a strange clarity in his eyes; a mixture of sadness and regret, underscored by those now overly pronounced shadows, "...I have a feeling I'll be thinking of you, Light-kun."

"Really..." Light murmured, pulse racing, expression clouded.

_Yes, L... it's only right that the last thing on your mind should be God, whether you're realising it or not._

He raised a hand, and lightly touched it to L's neck - the skin warm and so alive - before pulling him into a harsh kiss. It was short and devoid of any real feeling, but as Light drew back, he saw that flicker in L's eyes again, and knew he had won.

_Think on that, L, as your heart starves and your body shuts down. You will think of me, and you will know how far you slipped; how fully you lost._

Little more was said, then; not long after they returned to the other members of the NPA, and L continued to question Rem. But little by little, it became apparent to Light that, indeed, all evidence was pointing to Misa.

Rem waited until she could wait no more, and left the room - Light's triumph in her wake.


End file.
